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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

3 Easy Steps to Communicating Accumlated Negative Emotions

There are two types. Ones who are able to communicate any negative emotions or anger immediately and others who tend to accumulate. Everyone has different level of tolerance. It's debatable as to which one is better. Some habits are hard to give up.

If you are accumulating type you absorb lot of things you don't like and don't convey immediately. You think, Its not good idea to keep cribbing. It builds up the baggage. There on a very trivial scenario at some point breaks you down. Other person involved might see it as overreaction. Its not. It has built up over period of time.

On such trigger occasion control your emotions. Dont spoil the relations that you have built for long time and never burn down the bridges of the communication. Most of issues can be sorted out. If you are of the accumulating type read the 3 simple steps of how to communicate them when it goes beyond your tolerance point. 


[1] Notice: Communicate your negative emotion in written communication 

It's important to start the initial communication in the written form after final trigger. This allows other 
party to think about it and prepare for the discussion. Its something similar to government  organizations sending notice prior to action. Allow the other person to prepare. Communicate clearly each of the major instances which had upset you and what was your expectations. 

[2] Discussion: Bring it now to Face to Face over a table

Agree, written communications cannot convey all the emotions. But just emotions of triggering moment can be very destructive. So if you were to take up the discussion at the trigger point you would startle the other party. It might seem like overreaction and might put other person in defensive position. It would not lead to resolution of the issues. Instead it can blow out of proportions.

If you do it after the notice,  other person is prepared with arguments and his side of the story. So it becomes relatively easy to express your  negative emotions more constructively. It also has likelihood of closure on the resolution.

[3] Agreement: Close the resolution and move on

After its closed, write it down and pass it to other party to convey what was agreed. This ensures that it gives the fair chance to other person to correct something if there were any mis-interpretations.

After this step move on. Genuinely clear yourself off and continue to build your relationships further.