Do you suffer from high levels of stress and anxiety? Or are
you in denial about it?
Do you wonder if stress and anxiety is real or is it just
mental or combination of both?
Any way, I am not going to suggest you some medication or
yoga. I will not give you a magic solution that will make it go away. What I do
promise is a way to reduce it, to level that’s optimum by cutting the excess. Lets engage in set of dialogues. Idea is to
think through as you read this and see if it aligns with your own experiences.
What are we fundamentally
doing?
We are in constant struggle to change the reality of life.
Reality of life is, its
uncontrollable, uncertain and evolving or changing continuously. Nature,
which is big symbol of life, has all these characteristics. As a mankind, we are in a continuous struggle
to make it look exactly opposite. We want it to be controllable, certain and
constant. We are in continuous struggle to adapt the nature to suit us. Do you agree?
How System shields
us from reality?
How many us living in the comfort of modern world have consciously
experienced this reality of nature first hand? Rewind your life. What comes to your mind? For many it might
be, memories of school days. As soon as our memories of schooling starts we
remember a system that is perfected. Get up early, school bus arrives, there
are classes on different subjects, come back home do your homework go back to
bed. Repeat the same till weekend. On weekend do some extra homework and play
with friends. Close the year or semester with rituals of exam, where we broadly
get results matching our efforts. We
think this is life. We get shielded from many realities of life. If you are
lucky (or unlucky) you score the campus interview after graduation and get in
to a job. Settle in to a similar rhythm again. One might feel this is all good
but if this has been your story of life then you are set for one hell of ride
later.
What happens when
reality of life starts unfolding?
Life bites you, in one-way or another. It’s inevitable as we
continue to live and expand our world. Like the way we would look for full
entrainment from movie experience, life experience would be incomplete if you
aren’t bitten by it yet. When it starts biting you start experiencing the
reality of life.
It could as simple experience as getting stuck in traffic
jam while you have important meeting or your unstable Internet connection
during conference call. You realize there is very little control you have over
it. You realize the efforts and results don’t match any more, there is an
uncertainty. Many relations, you took it for granted are no longer the same.
They are evolving and changing all the time. There are no teachers who always
thought in your best interest and inspired you to achieve more. Instead there
is a harsh world that would bite you if you don’t achieve and puts the hurdles
when you are on you are on your way to achieve.
No, this is not to demotivate. This is to make you realize
there is a lot of pain and discomfort in the struggle of life. The comfort we
are experiencing today is a result of pain and discomfort, endured by many others. This pain and discomfort coupled with
uncontrolled, uncertain and evolving nature of life can make one experience
feeling of stress and anxiety.
Can we overcome
stress and anxiety?
Please note the pain is real. Discomfort is real. This is
real because the reality of life is uncontrolled, uncertain and evolving. It’s
we who want it other way. That’s going to take effort. That effort will require
one to endure the pain and discomfort. The level of pain and discomfort will be
proportional to level of shift we want from reality, with no guarantees of it
happening in spite of all efforts.
So, what is solution? Is there a way to get rid of stress
and anxiety completely? It can only become zero, if you would accept the
reality as it is and stop making any efforts to change it. That would be like, accepting
the darkness and not making any attempt to find the light. Would that be good?
Just continuing to live in darkness even when you don’t like darkness? I don’t
know but you have a choice.
How to optimize
the level of stress and anxiety?
Any practically meaningful life would need certain shifts
from reality. It would take effort. That effort will be filled with pain and
discomfort. Now what can be reduced is our resistance to that pain and
discomfort. Our natural choice would be to have no pain and no discomfort. So
whenever we see that we need to endure the pain & discomfort it can fill
you with stress and anxiety. Now this stress and anxiety will just make
enduring the pain and discomfort more difficult than what is needed to change
the reality.
So when you realize what is reality, when you choose to make
an attempt to change it, stop worrying about the pain and discomfort that’s
there in part of the effort. It’s a good pain and discomfort. Endure it.
Now you may say, I am fine with pain and discomfort. Can you
at least guarantee results for my efforts? Well friend go back to basics.
Reality is uncertain, uncontrolled and evolving. There aren’t any guarantees.
So, Buckle up.
Again, this would not make stress and anxiety go away but it
will keep it to level that is really required. It reduces excess stress and
anxiety in two parts. First reducing stress and anxiety for enduring the good
pain and discomfort. Second reducing stress and anxiety of results not matching
our efforts.
Beyond this it takes certain level of experience to
understand where reality cannot be changed. There is no point in picking those
battles. Those battles are going to be loosing battles and would only lead to
increased level of stress and anxiety. It’s also important to pick the right
battles for investing your energy and understanding the minimum level of effort
involved in it.
Accepting and enduring the good pain and discomfort is first
step towards reduction in stress and anxiety. Realize the reality and focus on efforts
while enduring the good pain and discomfort. I know, easier said than done, but
at least let’s start!
